My house
by Spottedstar106
Summary: What will happen when the Eragon gang live in my house?Chaos!Eragons is an idiot.Arya scares Eragon.Murtagh is the only smart one and has a crush on my sister.Brom can't cook.And more!PLEASE HELP ME! Finished!
1. Morning

"OH MURTAGH!" Eragon screamed in his big brother's ear, which happened to be sleeping. "WAKEY WAKEY SLEEPY HEAD!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Murtagh screamed when he opened his eyes to see Eragon staring at him not even an inch away from his face.

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOORRRRRNNNIIIIIIG BIG BROTHER!" Eragon screamed.

"Don't do that again!" Murtagh snapped, brushing the sleep from his eyes. He got up and left his room and stopped to see the kitchen a mess and the oven on fire. The mixer was going insane, the microwave was steaming, and the counter was covered in splotches of food. "What happened here?!"

"Would you like an omelet Murtagh?" Brom asked, flipping an omelet. He was wearing a kiss the chief apron along with one of those chief hats.

Eragon ran through the wall and attacked Brom for the omelet. "MMMMIIINNNEEE!!!"

"SHUTUP!" I screamed, pushing past Murtagh. "What happened to my kitchen!? Brom!"

"Runaway!" Brom screeched, running out the door with me chasing after him.

Eragon was sucking on the omelet with drool dripping off his mouth. "Funny monkey!" he laughed, falling over.

Arya walked in with curlers in her hair and some kind of face clay on. "Whats going on?"

Eragon's eyes got big with fear. "THEMOSTERISGOINGTOEATME! AAAAAAHH!!" He ran away screaming like a lunatic.

"What just happened?" Arya asked, peeling the kiwis from her eyes.

"I don't know." Murtagh sighed.

My sister walked in. "Hey."

Murtagh's eyes got googly. "H-Hi Heather."

"Well, I got to go to work." Heather announced and jumped out the window.

There was silence.

"You know, she already has a boyfriend." Arya giggled.

Murtagh flung his head down on the table. "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Short chappie, I know. But read and review!**


	2. Never watch TV with Eragon!

Murtagh drummed his fingers on the table as he and I watched my favorite show, Family Guy. (BEST SHOW IN THE FREAKIN UNIVERSE!) His drumming was getting on my nerves.

"ENOUGH!" I screeched.

"Sorry!" Murtagh snapped.

To make matters worse, Eragon hit the door before entering. God help us! He waved like an idiot.

"HI PEOPLES!" Eragon yelled before plopping down on the couch between Murtagh and I. "WATCHA WATCHEN?"

"Family Guy," I growled. "And you shouldn't be here because you have to be fourteen to watch this."

"I'm seventeen!" Eragon announced.

I shot him a glare. "You have to have a brain to watch this!"

"You're not fourteen!" Eragon pointed out.

"I will be in a year! Now shut up! Stewie is trying to kill Louis!" I yell.

Eragon cringed in fear. "Yes ma'am." He sat in silence for a moment and he began to click his tongue.

"Eragon," Murtagh said.

"Sorry."

Another moment of silence.

Eragon began to drum his fingers on the table.

"Eragon." I said.

"Sorry."

Silence.

He began to hum.

"Eragon." I growl.

"Sorry."

Silence.

He began to squirm.

"Eragon." I hiss.

"Sorry."

Silence.

He began to whistle.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore!" I snap, grabbing a suitcase and packing. "I've had it! Good-bye hellhole! I am off to San Francisco!" Walks out the door and slams it.

"I give it a month." Arya stated as she walked by.

"Anger issues!" Eragon exclaimed about me.


	3. Plane

"ERAGON SIT DOWN!" I screamed from my seat. We were on a plane to go to Six Flags amusement park. Murtagh was sitting with me (cause his hot like that!), Brom was reading a cookbook, Arya was fixing her hair, Heather stayed home cause she didn't want to have to deal with my anger, and Eragon was running up and down the plane screaming like a banchee.

"WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" giggled Eragon as he ran, ignoring me.

I snarled and got back to my magazine. I grabbed Eragon by the collar as he ran by and pulled him into his seat.

"Stay." I hissed, turning on his portable TV to Barney. Murtagh and I put on out headphones to keep from hearing the irritating, purple assed dino.

Eragon had his face not even and inch away from the TV with a creepy grin on his face.

"Eragon you're going to go blind if you keep your face that close to the TV." Murtagh informed his little brother lazily, flipping through his own magazine.

Too late, Eragon's eyes were baked. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was yet again running up and down the plane.

I slapped Murtagh in the back of the head. "Idiot! Now he's at it again! You!" I snapped to one of those plane servants. "Get me your tallest, strongest, cheapest alcohol you got!"

(I don't drink! I just thought this would be funny!)

The women stared at me. "I'm sorry, but you are not of age—."

"GET ME THE DAMN DRINK!" I yelled, my face turning red from anger.

"Right away!" the lady ran away.

"What's with you?" Murtagh asked.

I stared at him. "You'd have to drink too if you had to tend to that retarded brother of yours!"

"Good point, get me what she's haven!" Murtagh called to the lady.

Brom walked over to them with a huge bowl of . . . mysteries stuff . . .

"Wanna try some of my cake?" Brom asked.

Murtagh looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "I thought it was soup."

Brom looked hurt. "No! Its—." He was cut off when the plane jerked a bit, causing him to spill the cake or whatever it was in MY face!

I started trembling and my face was as redder then Thorn's scales due to my anger.

"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Arya screeched and dived under the seat.

"BROM!" I screamed, throwing myself at Brom and strangling him. "DIE! YOU SHALL DIE!"

Murtagh grabbed hold of me and shoved me back in my seat and buckled my seatbelt to keep me from killing anybody.

"Hey! Its Thorn and Saphira!" Arya called. Sure enough, the two dragons were slamming themselves against the plane and trying to bite it.

"DIE BIRDY! DIE!" Thorn screamed.

"DIE!" Saphira screamed.

"You know what to do Arya!" Murtagh called.

Arya nodded and waved a bone at the two dragons. "What the bone? Huh? You want it?"

Saphira and Thorn's tongues were lolling out of their mouths while drooling.

"Fetch!" Arya yelled, throwing the bone out the window. The two dragons flew after it.

The intercom came on:

Guy1: "We'll be arriving at the airport soon."

Guy2: "Please fasten your seatbelts, for we will experience turbulent."

Guy1: "Yes—Hey, your not suppose to be in here!"

Voice: "HI PEOPLES!"

Guy2: "Hey! Don't touch that!"

Guy1: "Somebody get this blond kid out a here!"

Voice: "I'M A RADIO! WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

The plane began to spin and hurtle towards the ground head first. Everyone was stuck to the back wall due to the force.

"ERAGON!" I screamed.

**Please read and review!**


	4. Lost at SixFlags

**Thanks go to all my reviewers! You all get a cookie!**

Murtagh and Brom had managed to get Eragon out of the control room and locked up in a seat belt with a heavy-duty lock.

"TOOTSIE POP!" screamed Eragon. "I'M WALKIN ON SUNSHINE!"

"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!" I screeched.

Pilot: "We are now approaching the station. Please stay seated."

"YEAH!" screamed Eragon. He managed to break his way out of the seatbelt THAT WAS STILL LOCKED and he jumped out the window WHILE THEY WERE STILL IN THE AIE! "I BELIEVE I FFLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!!!" His voice faded away and a puff of smoke appeared where he landed.

"OOOOOKKKKK. . . . Who forgot to tell him he couldn't fly?" I asked, looking out the window with everybody else.

Murtagh twittles his thumbs. "Um . . . Oops?"

"My mom is gonna kill me." I groaned.

!#$!#!$$!#$#!$!$#$&($)$&$#$#!#$

At Six flags:

Eragon is in a full body caste and they are entering the park.

"Muff sufser sdfe!" Thank god the caste caused Eragon's singing to be muffled!

"Okay, stay together everybody! Don't go insane and run off—." Everybody runs off, even Eragon, who managed to get out of his body caste, which we still can't find out how he managed too! "DAMN IT!"

I run towards a security guard. "I LOST FOUR PEOPLE! FIND THEM!!!!!!!!!"

"Alright, I'll need a description of the missing ones." The guard said, munching on a donut.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Okay . . . there's a mentally unstable blond, a disfigured elf, an old bearded guy that thinks his a famous chief, and a sexy guy with brownish-black hair."

"Okay." The guard said. He just stood their and ate another donut.

"Well?" I said.

He just stood there.

"DAMN IT! GO FIND THEM!" I yelled, a vein in my forehead bulging.

"Listen little missy, you need some anger-management classes!" He said lazily, still eating his donut and leaning against a pole.

"ARGH!" I howled. Then I smelled smoke. Yep, that had to be Broom! I dashed over to a food stand to see people running out and screaming. I looked inside to see Brom and a flaming stove.

"Hi Shannon! You want a burger?" Brom asked, flipping a burger that had burned to the size of a flea.

My temper was raising faster then the heat of the flames! "NO I DO NOT WANT A FREAKIN BURGER!" I grabbed hold of his arms and pulled him towards the security guard. "Where are the others?"

"I saw Murtagh at the Fairies wheel." I had already run towards the ride before he could finish his sentence. I easily spotted the all black clothes and the brownish-black hair getting in a seat.

"WAIT!" I screamed, running at them and leaping into the seat. I grabbed hold of his collar and began to shake him back and forth. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU RUN OFF DAMNIT?!"

"I don't really know . . ." Murtagh muttered.

We got to the top of the wheel. One problem: I'm TERRIFIED of HIGHTS!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—!!!!!!!!!!"  
(Pantpant)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I rocked into a fetal position. "I'm on the ground, I'm on the ground, I'm on the ground, I'm on the ground."

**Will I find everyone? Will Brom stay with the guard? Have I kissed the ground good-bye? Will I ever shut up? R&R!**


	5. Car chases and alot of screaming

**I'm BBBBBBBAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Guess what? THE RIDE CAME DOWN!

I leapt out of the seat and kissed and hugged the ground. "Oh sweet, sweet ground! How I've missed you so!"

"Drama Queen." Murtagh muttered.

"Shut up! Okay, we need to find Eragon, Arya, Durza, and Galbatorix! (Yes, I added them) I already found Brom. I handcuffed him to a pole so he won't get away—." I was cut off by a scream.

We looked over to see everybody in the haunted house running out, screaming.

"Bet you ten bucks Arya's in there." I challenged.

Murtagh smirked. "You're on!" He and I dashed over to the poor excuse for something scary and entered.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Murtagh moaned, trying to sound like a ghost.

I rolled my eyes. "Please Murtagh! That is so sorry it makes me want to vomit!"

He frowned. "You mean you're not scared?"

"No. I'm not afraid of anything—." A roach ran past me. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(I HATE roaches!)

I leapt into Murtagh's arms with my arms wrapped around his neck. (Think of Scooby-doo!) Our faces turned bright red in embarrassment.

"Sorry." I muttered.

Murtagh smirked. "I thought you weren't afraid of anything?"

"You know I'm terrified of roaches!" I snapped, getting out of his arms. My eyes turned to a coffin. I grinned. "Hey! Look at this!"

"Cool!" Murtagh exclaimed. He dashed over towards it and began trying to lift it open. "A little help here would be greatly appreciated!"

I shrugged. "Oh fine you wimp!" I walked over to him and helped him open it.

A horrifying monster sat up in the coffin, looking at us.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Murtagh and I screamed.

"Oh wait, its just Arya." Murtagh muttered.

"Damn! For a second there I thought these things were actually scary for once!" I grinned evilly. "Pay up!"

Murtagh grumbled something under his breath before giving me ten dollars. He shoved his hands into his pocket and looked down at the ground, his hair covering his eyes.

I giggled at his expression and turned back to Arya, flinching at her ugly face. "Come on. We—," I was cut off as Eragon busted through the wall.

His eyes got big when he saw Arya. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He ran for the exit in fear.

"GET HIM!" I scream.

Murtagh lunged towards him, only to miss and fall to the ground. He groaned something about thinking he broke his spine, but I ignored it.

"Come on!" I grabbed Murtagh and Arya and ran out of the so called 'haunted' house. We dropped Arya off at the pole with Brom, also cuffing her. "Wait! I just forgot!" I slammed a paper bag on Arya's head to hide her ugliness. "There! Much better!"

Then, it happened.

Durza was singing a song on the karaoke machine. "I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!"

No, it couldn't be! I thought I had gotten ride of it for good! I-I-I-I-It was the Barney theme song!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I screamed, curling up into a fetal position and sucking my thumb. (Yes, I know, a lot of screaming)

Murtagh cocked his eyebrow. "Okay . . . looks like this one's up to me." He walked over to Durza and snatched the microphone out of his hands.

"No! Give it back!" Durza whined like a two-year-old.

Murtagh shook his head. "No."

"I want it!" Durza whined.

"No, you're not getting it back. You have to come with us." Murtagh stated simply.

"Nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo!" whined Durza, now jumping up and down, stomping his feet. "You're a meanie!"

Murtagh smiled. "I know. Now come on! You're making a scene!" He grabbed Durza's arm and began to drag the Shade towards the pole, despite the screams of Durza, whose heels were digging into the CEMENT ground.

They got over to the pole and he handcuffed Durza to the pole. He looked down at me, who was still in a fetal position.

"You can stop having a nervous breakdown now." Murtagh muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

I got up and hugged him tightly. "THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU SAVED MY LIFE FROM THE HORRIBLE PURPLE ASSED DINO!"

Murtagh started to turn blue. "I—can't—breathe!" he managed to gasp out.

"Sorry!" I let him out of my death grip and pulled wad of gum out of his hair. (Durza had put it there for revenge) "Gross! Must you be so uncivilized?" I snapped at the Shade.

"Look!" Murtagh exclaimed, pointing towards one of those dumbo rides. (You know those rides at Disneyworld? They are dumbo things and they go up and down in a circle slowly?)

"Galbatorix!" we both yelled in union. The 'evil' king was on the ride.

"WWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" he said.

I jumped the gate and chased after the dumbo thing he was in with Murtagh on my heels.

"Galbatorix! Get down here this instant!" I demanded.

"No!" Galbatorix pouted. "You can't catch me! Nananananana!"

Murtagh jumped up as the car thingy lowered a bit and he grabbed onto the side to get him out, but it didn't help.

"Oh shit!" I cursed, jumping up and grabbing onto Murtagh's legs. "Oh shit!" I cursed when Galbatorix's car broke off the hold and we fell to the ground.

"Let's do that again!" Galbatorix squealed.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards me until he was an inch away from my face.

"How about I throw you off the plane back to Texas?" I suggested. "That will be fun!"

Galbatorix nodded. "Okay!"

I shoved him away from me. "Idiot. You okay Murtagh?"

Murtagh appeared from under the dumbo cart. "I'm fine! Nothing broken I think."

"Good." I grabbed them both and we handcuffed Galbatorix to the pole. "Only one more to go!"

I turned to see Eragon stuffing his face with chocolate, candy, ice cream, cotton candy, pretzels, snow cones, popcorn, caramel apples, dippin dots (Yum! This ice cream of the future!), and many more sugar induced products over at a bench.

"Oh HELL NO!" I spat. When Eragon eats sugar you don't want to know what happens! "Get him!"

Murtagh lunged for him, only to miss when Eragon ran away. The sugar had caused him to run so fast he was almost invisible.

"Okay, we are going to need something REALLY fast to catch that sugar demon." I said, looking around quickly. "There!" I exclaimed, pointing towards a model of Batman's bat mobile.

Murtagh looked doubtful. "Are you sure that's gonna work? It's just a model."

"Something THAT COOL has to be fast!" I said, wagging a finger at him. "Come on!" I grabbed his wrist and hopped into the car. "I'll drive!" We put on some of those cool black sunglasses.

"You're thirteen! You don't have a driver's license!" Murtagh protested.

I looked at him. "So? How hard could it be?" I pressed one of the many pretty buttons. A missile from the engine went off and hit a food stand in front of us, making it explode. I poked my head out the window and tipped my sunglasses. "Sorry!" I called.

"Let me try." Murtagh suggested, pressing another button. An electric arm came out of the dashboard and fixed Murtagh a martini. "Thanks!" he said, sipping his drink, and then pressed another button.

The car alarm went off and a red light shinned around them.

Voice of the car: "You are surrounded. Step out of the vehicle or face termination."

"You and what army?" I challenged.

Guns and knives appeared from the roof, dashboard, floor, and the doors.

"That army." Murtagh corrected me.

Voice of the car: "Guns and knives will destroy you in three—."

"PRESS THE BUTTONS!" I screamed, beginning to desperately press the buttons. The window wipers went off, the headlights flashed, the wheels jerked back in forth, the trunk kept opening and closing, the doors kept locking and unlocking, the seats kept falling and pulling up, the radio was blaring music, Murtagh's clothes were changed into Robin's and my clothes were changed into batman's, the horn was honking, and people were staring at us like we were monkeys in leotards playing a banjo and dancing to hip-hop music in a classroom full of eighth graders somewhere in Alabama.

Finally the car alarm was off and everything was silent with no deathtraps about to kill us.

Murtagh was about to press another button, but a grabbed his arm.

"DON'T. PRESS. THOSE. BUTTONS." I warned. I turned the car on and pressed on the gas until the speed thingy said 1000000000 miles per hours.

Our lips were flapping in the wind and our hair was going insane. People jumping out of the way and screaming.

"There he is!" I called.

Eragon was running yard ahead of us. His tongue was flapping out of his mouth and drool was flying out.

"Take the wheel!" I ordered Murtagh.

Murtagh nodded and he got into the drivers seat while I climbed out of the window and onto the roof of the car.

"I little more to the left!" I called to him.

Murtagh veered to the right, knocking over another car.

"No! The left you sycotic moron!" I yelled, holding onto the roof for dear life.

He edged to the left and pressed the gas even more, making me fall onto the front of the car.

"I changed my mind!" I screamed. "Jesus take the wheel!" (I love that song!) Now I had the song Jesus take the wheel stuck in my head!

Shaking my head, I reached forward towards Eragon. Luckily he was wearing a jacket! I managed to grab his hood and pull him onto the hood of the car with me.

We climbed into the passenger's seat with me sitting in the middle while Murtagh was still driving.

"LOOK OUT!" I screamed to Murtagh.

We collided into a brick wall.

**I am not having a swell weak am I? Read&Review! The next chapter will be up soon!**


	6. Eragon's Death wish

**Thanks go to all my lovely reviewers! Now here's chapter6! I do not own anything in this chapter except my sister!**

A video camera was turned towards Eragon's head where he was in his room. There was a bandage wrapped around his head due to being wounded in the car accident back in the last chapter. Read Car chases and a lot of screaming if you haven't to understand this!

"My name is Eragon." He began. "I am sixteen years old and live in a madhouse. What I'm about show you is what I live through everyday of my life. Let's see." He turned the camera away from him to face his door. He opened the door and walked down the hall.

"First is Durza's room." He smirked, opening the door enough to where the camera could see Durza sitting on his floor. (For the record, his rooms pink!)

The Shade was sitting on front of a Barbie doll house with a two Barbie dolls in his hands, while he was imitating their voices:

Ken: Hello Barbie!

Barbie: Hello Ken!

Ken: You're so pretty and nice!

Barbie: I know! And you're so handsome and muscular!

You could hear Eragon snickering while he recorded. The camera moved silently as he pressed his hand onto his mouth to keep him from laughing.

Barbie: This is my kitty, Mr. Bananabread!

Ken: He's such a cut little fuzzywazzy!

Eragon felt his face turn blue from holding in his laughter. He lost the battle and began laughing hysterically until he rolled onto his back.

Durza looked at him and his lower lip trembled. He pointed a shaking finger at Eragon with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Y-Y-You're mean!" Durza wailed. He opened his closet door and ran inside to cry. (His closet is full of pink ballerina tutus!)

Eragon whipped the tears he got from laughing so hard and headed for the next door.

"Next is Heather's room!" He giggled. His hand pushed the door open and what he saw made him drop the camera.

Heather and her boyfriend were making out on her bed.

Eragon scrambled out of the room and gagged in disgust. He picked up the camera and shuttered before heading into Galbatorix's room. His eyes widened and he bit his lip in shock.

Galbatorix had a black wig on and was braiding its hair and tying bows on it while putting makeup on. He puckered up his lips into his mirror with purple lipstick on, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, glitter, curling his eyelashes, and plastic nails on top of his already long nails.

Eragon giggled once more and he clawing at the carpet to keep from laughing. He ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief.

The 'evil' guy began prancing around his room and singing a Brittney Spears song. (I HATE Brittney Spears!) He grabbed a purple cloak and wrapped it around his shoulders. His wig fell off his head as he saw Eragon.

"ERAGON!" he roared, running at him.

Shrieking, Eragon slammed the door shut, causing Galbatorix to collide with the door. He ran to the bathroom where Arya thought she lived because she was always in there staring at her 'beauty'.

Eragon opened the door slightly and peered in. He screamed at the sight of her and slammed the door once more and then raced into the living room crouching behind the couch.

Shannon had a caste on her leg and had to walk with crutches, and Murtagh had his arm in a sling along with a small bandage on his cheek from the car wreck last chapter.

"That's the last damn time I let you drive!" Shannon snarled, hobbling into the living room with Murtagh walking behind her.

Murtagh rolled his eyes. "You're just jealous that my legs aren't broken!"

Shannon glared daggers at him. "I didn't see you trying to save your brother's pathetic ass yesterday!"

"I was driving!" Murtagh snapped.

"And that was the last time I'll ever let you near the steering wheel again!" Shannon spat, stains of her hair falling out of her ponytail.

Durza ran in with a pink tutu on. "Stop! Your fighting is tearing this family apart!" He began to sob once more.

"This family is screwed up!" I hissed.

Murtagh nodded. "Damn straight! We're not even related! Eragon and I are the only ones related!" He shoved his useable hand into his pocket.

Galbatorix walked in with all the stuff still on. "Shannon, where did you put my freakin hairspray—." He cut himself off as everybody stared at him. "Um . . . this is really embarrassing."

Arya came in with a bag on her head with Heather. Everybody began to argue with Eragon still recording from the side of the couch.

Everyone got silent when Shannon said something. "I smell something." She sniffed. "It's the smell of cheap cologne! ERAGON!" She leapt at Eragon, followed by everybody else.

5 days later:

Eragon was hiding in his closet with the video camera. The camera was turned towards him. His face was covered with bruises and scratches.

"Its day five in the closet." He stated. "I have started to eat my shoes, which actually taste pretty good. I'm going to see if it's safe to come out now." He opened the door slowly and shut the door quickly as rabid dogs ran towards him. "Better lay low for awhile."


	7. A special 4th of July chapter

**I know it's not the Fourth of July yet, but it will be in a few days!**

"Has anybody seen Eragon lately?" Heather asked walked into the kitchen, where all of us were eating breakfast. "I haven't seen him in a few weeks."

I was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. "Eragon's been missing? No wonder it's been so quiet lately!"

Murtagh was sitting next to me, reading the sports paper. "Looks like the Blue Dragons won the super bowl last night to the Blood Dragons."

"HA!" Saphira exclaimed from outside with Thorn. "Pay up!"

Thorn muttered something about Saphira being a wizard before tossing her a chunk of his meat.

Galbatorix ran in with a red-white-and-blue-cat-in-the-hat hat one. "HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!"

Durza ran in with a green-and-white-cat-in-the-hat hat on. "HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!"

"St. Patricks day is in March Durza." Murtagh muttered, flipping through the sports paper.

I looked at the date. "It is the fourth of July. I guess we should go get some fireworks then."

The house trembled and Eragon ran through the wall, making a huge hole. "DID SOMEBODY SAY FIREWORKS?"

"Oh lord!" I exclaimed. "Who let him out of the closet?"

Galbatorix look around sheepishly. "Oops . . ."

"Now we have to put up with his ass now!" I snapped, throwing the newspaper I was reading into the air. "Oi! Brom! Another coffee!"

"Right away!" Brom announced. He walked over and refilled my coffee cup.

I took a sip from it and spat it out instantly. "Brom! What the hell is this freakin shit?!"

"What? I only added syrup, sour milk, salt, pepper, chocolate milk, cream, ten pounds of sugar, and some stuff I found next to the dragon barn. What's the big deal?" Brom said lazily.

I turned green and poured the pitcher of coffee into the nearby plant, the muck killing it instantly.

"Can I try some of that?" Eragon asked.

"Knock yourself out." I said, giving him my glass.

Eragon gulped the coffee down and smacked his mouth a few times. "Damn that's good!"

"ERAGON!" I screamed. "Where'd you hear that word?"

"Murtagh dared me to say it." He said, pointing at his big brother.

I turned my gaze to Murtagh with a sweet grin on my face. "Murtagh."

The boy in black gulped fearfully. "Y-Yes Shannon?"

"You have a ten second head start." I announced, cracking my knuckles. "This is going to be fun."

"Oh shit! Here Eragon! Take this book! Tell all the girls listed in there that I love them!" Murtagh demanded.

"Holy crap Murtagh! This thing is packed! We have a problem." Eragon stated.

Murtagh sighed. "What?"

"I can't read." Eragon explained.

Murtagh threw his hands in the air. "Then tell our mom I love here!"

"Our mom's dead!" Eragon added.

"What are you? Captain obvious—?" Murtagh was cut off by Eragon.

"HOLY CRAP! HERE SHE COMES! GET OUT OF TOWN! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! HEAD FOR THE SEA! DON'T FORGET TO WASH BEHIND HER EARS!" Eragon practically screamed in his brother's ear.

"OH SHIT! She's wearing cleats today!" Murtagh gasped, and shot out the door with me chasing after him.

Silence. . .

"I bet you all the money you have Shannon kicks Murtagh's ass before one minutes up." Durza hissed in pleasure.

Brom smirked. "You're on!"

"You might as well pay up now—." Durza was cut off.

I walk back in whistling.

Galbatorix looked at his timer. "Damn! That beating was only lasted three seconds! A new record!" He pushed the refrigerator out of the way to reveal a chalk board with times of resent beatings. "She was five seconds faster then the last time!" He exclaimed while writing the score down.

"Damn it!" Galbatorix cursed while emptying his pockets.

"Who wants to go get fireworks?" I yell.

Everyone in the house, except Heather, runs towards the car. (In Murtagh's case, he just laid there until Galbatorix dragged him into the car)

"The champ has spoken." I smirked.

Ten minutes later:

"I want this one!" Eragon squealed, pointing at a huge rocket that was the size of Orik.

I cocked my eyebrows. "How much is it?"

"$3.47." Eragon said a bit too quickly.

"Are you reading the price tag upside down on purpose?" I challenged.

Eragon flinched and mumbled something.

"What was that?" I asked.

He mumbled a bit louder.

"Huh?" I asked once more.

"$743.00." Eragon squeaked.

"WHAT?!" I scream. "We are not getting that!"

Arya walked over (Bag on her head) and looked at the tag again. "It says it will blow up all traces of Barney or your money back." She added.

I grinned devilishly.

"Um . . . Arya. Shannon's getting that scary look again." Eragon whimpered, hiding behind the elf.

Arya nodded. "She's having one of her thoughts."

"GOOD BYE PURPLE ASSED DINO!" I yelled, grabbing hold of the rocket and throwing it into the basket.

Murtagh walked over and put four packs of firecrackers in there also. "I checked the tag and it said buy three get one free. The first three were only $3.21."

I nodded. "Where are Durza and Galbatorix?"

"Arguing on whether to getting sparklers or not." Murtagh shrugged, nodding over to where Durza was crying because he wanted the colorful sparklers and Galbatorix was yelling that sparklers were too childish.

"Are they expensive?" I asked.

Murtagh shook his head.

"Then get the sparklers. That's the only thing that will keep Durza from whining all night." I sighed. "OH NO MISTER! YOU ARE NOT GETTING EXPLOSIVES! PUT THOSE DOWN NOW ERAGON MORZANSON! ERAGON! OH DON'T YOU DARE LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!"

Galbatorix took this chance and threw an explosive chocolate bar into the basket with an evil grin on his face. This is going to be a screwed up night . . . a.k.a: Another normal night in my house. . .

8:07 p.m. That night:

"Come on everybody!" I call. We all got into the driveway and set the bag of fireworks on the ground. "Alright, I want everyone to stay away from the road. Don't go running towards the firework while it is in motion. That means YOU Eragon! We don't want last year's incident to ruin this year!"

_Flashback:_

"_Murtagh, please light the first firework please." I had said, handing Murtagh one of our fountains._

_He nodded and lit the fountain, running back over to us. The cone began to hiss and a fountain of sparks began to raise high in the air. _

"_Pretty!" Eragon screamed, running towards the fountain. "I want to make a wish!"_

"_ERAGON! GET BACK HERE!" I had shrieked._

_Too late. The moronic blond jumped into the sparks before we could stop him._

_Heather had to call 911 and an ambulance picked Eragon up. The idiot suffered from third degree burns to the hands, head, arms, and some think his brain, for he got even stupider this year._

_End of Flashback_

"I am NOT going to do mouth to mouth AGAIN!" I spat, putting one of those kid leashes on Eragon and tying him to my dad's truck, where everybody else was sitting on the tailgate. "There. Sit boy."

Eragon plopped down in-between Heather and Arya, his tongue lolling out of his mouth like a dog.

"Good boy." I praised, giving him a dog treat. "You know the drill!" I said, tossing a lighter to Murtagh.

He lit the fireworks and dashed over to the truck, joining us on the tailgate. The fireworks hissed and flew up into the night's sky, erupting into many colors and patterns.

Durza began to cry because the noise scared him, so Heather went inside with him to wait until we did sparklers. We had to enlarge the eyeholes in Arya's bag so that she could see. Galbatorix gave Murtagh an explosive chocolate bar, knocking out all of Murtagh's molars. Eragon just sat there in awe at the fireworks. Murtagh was trying to stop the bleeding mouth while I was constantly handing him new paper towels that weren't soaked with his blood.

2 hours later:

"Okay, now that we've finished all the sparklers and fireworks, its time for the finely! It's guaranteed to destroy all traces of Barney or our money back!" I exclaimed, running over to the rocket and lighting it before diving back to the truck. "HIT THE DECK!"

Everyone dived under the truck for cover. The rocket went off and flew up a little bit into the air, and then dropped onto Murtagh's motorcycle, exploding.

"MY MOTORCYCLE! NO!" Murtagh screamed, dropping onto his knees and flailing his arms in the air. "DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

"PRETTY!" Eragon exclaimed, managing to get loose of his leash and he jumped into the flames.

I sighed and sat down, watching Murtagh cry, Eragon scream in pain, Arya and Heather trying to put the fire and Eragon out, Galbatorix giving Eragon mouth to mouth, and Durza picking his nose.

This family was hell.

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**I hope you all like this special 4****th**** of July chapter! Please R&R!**


	8. Murtagh's in charge!

**Thanks go to all my reviewers! Now here's chapter 8! I don't own Eragon, only my sister and friends!**

Eragon was lying on his bed with caste on his arms, hands, and a bandage around the top of his head from yesterday's incident with the fireworks. He was moaning to try and get some sympathy.

Unfortunately for him, it wasn't working.

So he did the most logical thing his demented brain could think of.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yes, that's right, he screamed even louder. "THE PAIN! THE TORTURE! THE AGONY! THE NEED FOR SYMPATHY!" Eragon moaned even louder.

"SHUT UP ERAGON!" Murtagh yelled from his room next door. "I'M TRYING TO STUDY!" He was still mourning for his beloved bike.

My two best friends and I walked into the room. Victoria, the tallest one, had long light brown hair that reached to her hips with brown eyes. She was the smartest of the group.

Elizabeth was a bit shorter then me. She had dark brown hair that went to her shoulders, also with brown eyes.

"Alright Eragon. It's time for your pain medication." I sighed, holding up a shot.

Eragon's eyes widened and he started hysterically screaming in his girly scream. He kicked his legs around wildly to get us away from him.

"HOLD HIM DOWN!" I ordered.

Victoria grabbed his legs and pinned them down while Elizabeth grabbed his arms and pinned him down, staring dreamily at the blond teen.

I lunged forward when I had my chance and pierced the shot into his left arm. My ears were now ringing from Eragon high-pitched screaming.

Once the shot was over I held out a lollipop for him. "Here you go. For your troubles."

Eragon looked at me suspiciously. "Is it blueberry?"

"Sour apple." I corrected him.

"Yeah!" Eragon exclaimed, grabbing the lolly. Not being the brightest crayon in the box, he past smooth out in one lick.

Elizabeth looked at me fearfully. "What in the HELL did you do to him?!" she demanded, for she had the biggest crush on Eragon.

"Relax." I insisted. "It wasn't really a lollipop. It was medicine disguised as candy to make him sleep. He'll be out for a few hours." I said in relief.

"Why are you wearing all black?" Victoria asked, noticing my black jeans, shirt, and shoes.

I shrugged. "Murtagh's forcing everyone to wearing black while he's mourning for his motorcycle."

Victoria sighed helplessly. She had the biggest crush on Murtagh. "It makes me sad to see him like this."

I bared my teeth. "Oh. He'll be fine." I said through my teeth. "He'll be back on his feet in no time. He just needs time to mourn." 

Arya poked her head in. "Shannon. Murtagh's slitting his wrist." (I'm not making fun of emo people!)

"Oh HELL NO!" I shrieked, dashing out of the room and slamming Murtagh's bedroom door open.

Murtagh was sitting on his bed with his pocketknife in his right hand and blood dripping from his left wrist. He stared at me like I was an idiot.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him an inch away from my face. "WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING GOING EMO ON US?!" I yelled.

He stared at me like I was mental. "Emo? What the hell are you talking about?! I have a SPLINTER in my wrist!" Murtagh stated.

And sure enough, there was a large splinter in his wrist. It was probably from working on his project for History class.

I released his shirt and I rubbed my temples to ease my raging headache.

Murtagh cocked his eyebrows at me. "You okay?" He asked.

"What do you think?" I hissed coldly. "I need to get out of this house! I'm going to Los Vegas! Murtagh, you're in charge of the house while I'm gone! I'll be back in a week! Possible never." I walked out of the house and got on a bus with Victoria and Elizabeth.

Murtagh just sat there on his bed confused, not really sure if what just happened really did happen.

Next day: Murtagh's POV

"MURTAGH!" Galbatorix roared in the garage.

Murtagh ran out of the house and over to the king, who wasn't really looking to happy about something.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY SHIRT?!" Galbatorix screamed, holding up a pink shirt. "THE SHIRT USE TO BE WHITE! I JUST BOUGHT THIS SHIRT TWO DAYS AGO!" 

Murtagh's eyes widened. He looked into the washer to see that ALL their clothes were pink. (A/N: I don't know if that happens like that, but just go along with it!)

"SHIT!" Murtagh spat, holding up his favorite black cloak, which was now pink. He was not happy, for he wore black, not PINK. _"Eragon."_ He hissed, spotting Eragon's red sock, the source of the pinkness. It had been Eragon's job to take over Shannon's chore while she was away.

Meanwhile with Eragon in the living room:

Our favorite idiot was sitting on the couch with all kinds of liquids on the coffee table.

"Orange juice." He said, taking a sip of it. "None toxic. Kool-Aid: (sip) none toxic. Hot sauce: (sip) none toxic. Wine cooler: (sip) Mmm . . . I could go either way."

Arya was at the desk watching the phone. Last night her boyfriend said he would call her, and she hadn't left that very spot.

"My Tommy will call, my Tommy will call." She kept saying.

Back to Murtagh:

The hot guy was storming around the house looking for his brother. He walked into the kitchen, past Brom—who was cooking tonight's 'dinner'—and Durza—who was reading a book.

"Where is he?" Murtagh growled, still clutching onto his cloak and Eragon's sock.

Both of them pointed to the living room, like they did on a daily basis when Eragon got in trouble without looking up from what they were doing.

Seeing Eragon in the living room, Murtagh grabbed his baby brother by the collar and lifted him off his feet see that they could stare each other in the eye.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING MESSING UP MY FUCKIGN CLOTHES?!" Murtagh roared.

"MUST YOU MAKE SUCH A RACKET?!" Arya screamed from where she sat, startling the brothers. Eragon had gotten over his fear of her face. But he was now afraid of oatmeal 

"MURTAGH!!!!!!!" screamed Galbatorix from the kitchen.

Hearing the damsel in distress, Murtagh glared at his brother. "I'm not finished with you!" He growled before rushing into the kitchen.

Galbatorix and Brom we're cowering in the kitchen with Durza in Galbatorix's arms. They were trembling in fright, staring at something on the bar.

"What is it—HOLY SHIT!" Murtagh yelled, spotting what they were scared of.

It was a gooey, green stuff on a plate. (You guessed it! It's Jello!) It was jiggling slightly, making Murtagh what to retch.

"The neighbors gave it to us." Brom whispered.

"What does it want?" Galbatorix whimpered.

"What's it trying to tell us?" Durza squeaked from Galbatorix's arms.

Murtagh's grip tightened around his sword. "I don't know, but I don't like the looks of that fruity stuff floating around inside it." He causiously and slowly approached it.

"Be careful Murtagh." Brom warned.

Murtagh was a few footsteps away from it when it jiggled. He yelped in surprise and grabbed his bow quickly and shot it, gasping in fear.

"What the hell is that?!" Arya gasped from the doorway, just now getting there.

"Don't worry, we've killed it." Galbatorix announced, disposing it into the trashcan.

Eragon walked in with a gas tank in his hand. "Murtagh, I've lost all the feeling in the left side of my body. Can you please contact 116?" He asked, reading the WARNING sign upside down. (For those who don't understand he drank the gas to see if it was toxic)

"Oh my god!" Murtagh exclaimed, darting for the phone but Arya stopped him.

"Don't you touch that phone! Tommy might call!" (As if!) Arya snarled.

"THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHANNON CAN PUT UP WITH A MAN UPSESED ELF, MY ALCOHALIC BROTHER, AND THREE COWARDLY MEN! I DON'T BLAME HER FOR LEAVING! THIS FAMILY'S INSANE! I TELL YOU INSANE!" Murtagh bellowed, leaving the room in silence.

"Well my prides gone." Galbatorix announced, walking out, followed my Durza and Brom.

"I've got to find out what happened to Tommy!" Arya stated, running out of the kitchen.

"May induce vomiting; now there's an idea." Eragon realized, reading the WARNING sign again. He left as well.

Murtagh just stood there, wanting his life to end there and then

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**You know the drill! R&R!**


	9. Oh HELL NO!

**The reviews are got are appreciated! Happy 4****th**** of July everybody! Now here's chapter nine!**

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"Galbatorix the toast is burning! Eragon your shirt's on backwards! Durza stop picking your nose! Brom don't you dare touch that oven! Arya get out of the bathroom! Thorn stop flirting with Saphira! Saphira stop giving Thorn the finger!" Murtagh exclaimed, gasping for air. It was day six of his job and he was glad it was the last day. He didn't understand how Shannon could put up with this shit.

"THE INVASION IS HERE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Roran screamed, running into the kitchen and cowering in the corner. "THEY'LL SUCK OUT OUR BRAINS FOR THEIR FRUIT JUICES OF HORROR THAT WILL MAKE THEIR EYES BULGE OUT OF THEIR HEAD LIKE IN EPIOSODE THREE!"

Murtagh stared at him. "So you came for a visit?"

Roran nodded. "I-I let myself in when the aliens attacked me!" (He lives down the street with Katrina)

Murtagh kicked his idiotic cousin in the head. "There's no such thing as aliens!" he growled.

"Yes there is!" Roran insisted. "Look out the door! They're there!"

Shaking his head, he walked towards the front door. "Whatever you say Roran, whatever you say." He peered out the window and his eyes widened.

Frogs were covering the front yard. They were croaking and jumping all over the place, making Murtagh's spine shiver in disgust. (That really did happen before at my house!) Galbatorix must have set them all free again when he found out that scientist were still experimenting on them.

"RORAN!" Eragon exclaimed in excitement, running to his cousin.

"ERAGON!" Roran exclaimed in excitement, running to his cousin. They grabbed each other into a hug and smiles on their faces. "I'm so glad that the oatmeal didn't suck out your spine and put it in its birthday cake to use as a candle!"

"I'm so glad that the aliens didn't abduct you and make you drinks three quarts of chemicals to make you lay eggs for them to fry!" Eragon cried happily, both the boys close to crying in happiness, that is if they weren't crying already.

Murtagh sighed. "I sure hope Shannon's having a good time in Los Vegas."

At the entrance of a casino at Los Vegas:

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T GO IN?!" I screamed at an officer.

Elizabeth was drunk off margaritas and Victoria was flirting with a hot celebrity guy.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you are under age. You have to be twenty to enter." The officer explained.

I leapt at the officer in fury with Elizabeth and Victoria trying to pull me back.

Back at the house:

"She's gonna need it." He added, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "At least the house is clean."

"LET'S PLAY COPS AND ROBBERS!" Eragon screeched happily.

"Oh HELL NO!" Murtagh exclaimed. He was NOT going to go through this again! They didn't even play the game right!

Durza ran in with a timer. "TEN SECONDS TO BREAK ALL THE WINDOWS WITH ROTTEN FRUIT!"

Eragon and Roran grabbed some old fruit and began to hurtle them all at the windows, breaking them as fast as they could, playing their 'game'.

"TAGGY!" called shrill, high-pitched voices that made Murtagh whimper.

"THEY FOUND ME!" he exclaimed in fear. He hid behind a lamp just in time when twenty teenage girls ran in the house. They had either colored their hair pink, or purple, or yellow, or green, or blue, or orange, or white and were wearing pink shirts that had a picture of Murtagh on them that said 'I love Taggy'.

"Hi Murtagh fangirls!" Durza exclaimed happily. Yes, Murtagh had fangirls.

The teenage girls, having a few fries short of a happy meal, didn't see Murtagh behind the lamp. So they did the best thing one brick of a wall short brains could think of.

"TRASH THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU FIND TAGGY!" The pink haired leader of the fangirls screeched. The fangirls screamed and began to tare the house apart savagely.

"I FOUND HIS GUITAR!" screamed an orange haired girl, holding up his black guitar. The girls screamed in excitement and began to fight over his stuff.

Twin sisters with yellow colored hair stopped what they were doing and sniffed the air.

"ERAGON!" They leapt at Murtagh's baby brother and held him by his feet upside down. "WHERE IS HE?!" One of the sisters demanded, while the other placed a bucket of lard underneath his head.

The idiot gave them a goofy grin. "HI GIRLS!" His head was dumped into the bucket and lifted back up.

"TALK!"

"HI GIRLS!"

(BLUP)

"TALK I SAY!"

"HI GIRLS!"

(BLUP)

5 hours later:

"Talk son of ma-gun." The twins moaned.

"HI GIRLS!" Eragon laughed.

Murtagh had fallen asleep leaning against the lamp from behind it. Droop was dripping out of his mouth and onto the cone of the lamp and he was snoring. He snorted and his head shot up when the lamp almost fell. His hands gripped the pole part to keep from falling.

"Psssst!"

"Huh?" Murtagh looked around in confusion.

"Psssst!"

Murtagh looked at the wall behind him to see Durza hanging by the wall with suction cups on his hands and feet.

"Psssst! Murtagh! I have something to tell you!" the Shade whispered. "It's important!"

"What?" he asked, losing his patience.

Durza looked around slowly to make sure no one could hear. "The cow drink molted milkshakes at midnight." He whispered in Murtagh's ear.

Murtagh stared at him with disbelief. _"What?"_ he hissed.

"HE'S OVER HERE GIRLS!" Durza yelled, pointing at Murtagh. The girls shrieked in delight and ran towards Murtagh, dog pilling him.

This went on for another three hours.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" I screamed from the doorway. Elizabeth was in one of those wheeling bed things in a coma from drinking too many margaritas and Victoria was slung around my neck to be supported because the so called 'man celebrity' she had flirted with was Brittney Spears in disguise. So now she was in so much shock she just stared into space. (No offense to any Spears fans)

"I LEAVE THIS HOUSE FOR ONE WEEK AND I COME BACK TO FIND A WARZONE!" I yelled, setting Victoria on the wheeler bed next to Elizabeth. Cracking my knuckles with a smirk, I set to work.

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**I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't as long as the others! Please read and review!**


	10. Slumber party!

There's a knock on the door and I open it. "You're finally here!" Elizabeth, Victoria, Alana, and Kendall walked in the house with sleeping bags and overnight bags.

"What's going on?" Arya asked, walking in from the hallway. For once she didn't have all that junk on her face.

"Is it Christmas?" Eragon asked, popping out from behind Arya. "Where's the pretty mistletoe?"

"It's July Eragon." Alana corrected him, placing her bag down. She was up to my shoulders and she had dyed her once blond hair to brown with gray eyes.

Kendall was a bit taller then Alana, but still shorter then me. She had long, brownish-gray tinted hair with blue eyes.

"We're having a slumber party!" Elizabeth exclaimed, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Liz, how much coke did you drink?" I asked cautiously, narrowing my eyes.

Elizabeth stopped bouncing. "Only ten gallons! I'm only drink half of what I use to drink now!"

"This is going to be a long night." I sigh.

One hour later everybody was sitting in a circle in their pajamas.

Me: In dark green long PJ pants and shirt that buttoned down. Alana: In black long PJ pants and shirt Vic: In a light pink PJ dress and fluffy light pink slippers. Liz: In bluish gray PJ shorts and pants with a Germen Shepard on the front. (She loves dogs) Arya: In a long, yellow PJ dress. Eragon: In light blue long PJ pants and shirt. Kendal: In white PJ shorts and shirt. Murtagh: In black PJ shorts and a black sleeveless shirt. Galby: In long midnight blue PJ pants and shirt. Durza: In a red PJ shorts and blue shirt. Brom: In a long bluish green PJ pants and shirt.

"Alright, we're gonna play SPIN THE BOTTLE!" I exclaimed, passing out the beer to everyone except Durza and Eragon because they weren't smart enough to handle alcohol.

(I don't drink! I'm only making it funny!) All the guys groaned while the girls grinned devilishly.

"What are we going to us as a bottle?" Murtagh asked, noticing we didn't have one.

I chugged down my first beer in one swig and placed it in the middle. "There. The rules are that if you chicken out then you have to Saphira and Thorn burn your hair out."

Eragon shrieked and clasped his hands on his hair with his eyes wide in fear.

"Youngest goes first!" I said quickly, tossing the bottle to Kendal. She gave me a death glare before spinning the bottle.

I busted out laughing when the bottle landed on Brom. Once I stopped (laughing for three minutes and earning some frightened looks from everybody) they continued.

Kendal made a face and crept over to the old man. She pecked him quickly on the cheek before sitting back down in a flash with a look of disgust.

Brom spinned the bottle and it landed on Elizabeth. He stiffened in fright as Liz leapt at him and kissed him passionately. Once she let go he sat up, being propped up by his hands.

"Damn!" he gasped. "There was tongue too!"

Elizabeth giggled at the looks we gave her before spinning. It landed on Durza. She gagged and pecked him quickly before throwing up in a bag. I pity the poor girl.

Durza scolded and spun the bottle. It landed on me. He smirked at me, showing me his freakish yellow teeth with bugs crawling all over them.

I said every cuss word I new and said them in different languages before kissing him quickly. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth four times, rinsed with mouthwash seven times, ate eleven peppermints, flossed five times, and rinsed my mouth out with water two times before returning and spinning. My eyes widened in fear, along with the chosen person's.

Murtagh.

**DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!! What will happen you ask? Find out in the next chapter! I'm sorry this one was so short, but the next one will be better! Please R&R!**


	11. HE'S WHAT!

Murtagh looked as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head while I looked like I was about to pass out.

"Do we REALLY HAVE to?" I groaned miserably.

"I had to kiss BROM!" Kendal hissed.

"I had to kiss DURZA!" Arya hissed.

"I had to kiss DURZA AND BROM!" Elizabeth hissed.

"Besides," Alana piped up. "You'll thank us when it's over with." She said, leaning in for a better look like everyone else.

"Yep." Victoria agreed, grabbing some popcorn.

I groaned and faced Murtagh. "Let's get this over with so I can get on with my life." Our heads leaned forwards slowly. I could practically feel his warm breath against my skin once we were half an inch apart. We came a little closer . . .

"HI EVERYBODY!" Goldpool burst in the house.

"GOLDPOOL!" Everyone but Murtagh and I screamed when we both pulled apart quickly.

"Sorry I'm late! I was—." She noticed how close Murtagh and I had been. "Were they about to . . ."

Every glared at her.

"OH DAMN!" Goldpool yelled, cursing herself.

"SO CLOSE!" Victoria screamed.

"WE HAD THEM IN THE PALM OF OUR HANDS!" Alana cursed.

"WE'RE STILL HERE YOU KNOW!" Murtagh and I yelled.

Once the game was done I had kissed Eragon, Durza, and Brom. Poor Murtagh had to kiss his own brother while Goldpool got lucky and kissed Eragon, but ended up kissing Galbatorix too.

That night all the boys were sleeping in the living room except for the girls: (not including Arya and Heather!)

"Alright, did you bring the stuff Goldpool?" I asked, all of us wearing black and in the kitchen.

"Got it covered." Goldpool smirked, holding up a large bag. We all grinned evilly.

"Okay, let's move out!" I smirked and rolled into the dining room with the other girls rolling after me.

_Du, du, du, du, _

_Du, na,_

_Du, du, du, du,_

_Du, na—_

"Alana, turn that music off!" I hissed.

"Sorry." Alana whispered, turning the mission impossible music off and throwing the radio behind her, making all sorts of racket.

"Now that that's taken care of . . ." I muttered, we all crept into the living room and our plan started to unfold . . .

The next day:

All us girls were eating breakfast and drinking coffee in the kitchen while the guys were still sleeping. It was _**1:30**_ in the afternoon!

I grinned evilly as I heard one of the boys groan and get up from his sleeping back. Using my spoon, I checked the reflection behind me to see who was getting up. Murtagh. We all grinned devilishly to each other. I began to count with my fingers.

3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . .

"_**SSSSSHHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!"**_

(He said Shannon! That's yours truly!)

Right on time.

Murtagh stormed in with whipped cream smeared all over his face and a bit still on his hand. (It also involved a feather!)

"_**WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL DO YOU DO TO ME YOU BASTARD!?" **_Murtagh roared, waking up the neighbors. (That is if they were still asleep at 1:30 p.m.!)

I pretended gave him an innocent look. "What do you mean Taggy?"

"_**DON'T TAGGY ME YOU HELLISH DIPSHIT!"**_ 'Taggy' roared.

Eragon ran in with makeup on and was staring at himself in a mirror. "Better lookin everyday!" he chirped happily.

Murtagh stared at his baby brother. "That's actually an improvement." He pointed out responsible.

Eragon stuck his tongue out at his big brother childishly. "You're just jealous that Shannon made me pretty!"

_Damn! I knew the little dipshit's prank was a bad idea! Now how am I going to explain why Eragon's wearing Heather's makeup to Heather? Damn Alana for pulling me into her idiot makeup prank!_ I thought franticly, biting my nails and shooting Alana a death glare. If looks could kill she would have killed over by now.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Brom screamed. He ran in with a horrified look on his face. His gray beard was died rainbow colors. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

Victoria look hurt. "You mean you don't like it?"

Galbatorix ran in with a HUGE sunburn all over. "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!"

"Let's just say we found a good use for Goldpool's tanning bed." I giggled, and Goldpool and I high-fived each other.

"Where's idiot number five?" Kendall asked, glancing into the living room. "He's coming!" She shot back over to the table.

Durza walked in with his head shaved. He didn't seem to notice yet, at least he wouldn't have noticed until Galbatorix busted out laughing. His hands clutched his shaven head and he began to scream bloody murder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL MY HAIR? I'M MELTING!" Durza screamed and began to melt until he was nothing but a pool of white liquid. Galbatorix scooped him into a glass so we he wouldn't dry up.

Heather walked in and saw her makeup on Eragon. _**"SHANNON!"**_ She screamed.

"Oh shit." I mumbled.

**666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666**

Monday at school:

I sighed in boredom during 1st period, Math. My eyes gazed over the desk writing on my desk, such as cussing, and rumors on it about who like who. I wrote down notes lazily to study for her final exam. God I hate exams.

_Whoever created final exams should drop dead._ I turned my head over towards the door when I heard a gentle knock on it. My eyes widened and a jumped in horror when I noticed who it was.

"ERAGON!" I yelled, standing up from my desk and earning strange looks from my classmates and teacher. Eragon was standing outside the door waving at me like an idiot to me threw the window of the door.

"Shannon, what is it?" My teacher asked, slightly frightened.

I looked over at him so quickly my hand knocked my books off my desk. A vein in my forehead throbbed in frustration.

"I . . . Er . . . uh . . ." Saved by the bell! No, literally, the bell rang. I darted out of the classroom and into the noisy hallway. I found the idiot trying to ride a water fountain.

"Hi Shannon!" Eragon said happily.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I hissed quietly. "You're suppose to be at the high school with Murtagh across the street!"

Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed him and pulled him into the girls' bathroom and pushed him into a stall so that none of the girls could see him. I closed the door and stood in front of the stall and whipped out my cell phone, dialing a number.

It rang three times before anyone answered.

"_Yeah?"_ the familiar husky voice of Murtagh said.

"It's me. Listen, we have a problem." I began.

I heard him sigh in annoyance. _"Did Galbatorix stuff Durza's hand in the toaster again?"_

"No." I began to explain everything.

"_**HE'S WHAT?!"**_ Murtagh yelled so loud that the other girls in the bathroom gave me strange looks and I had to hold my phone a foot away from my ear.

"Look, I don't have time to take care of him! My next class is in three minutes!" I said, lowering, my voice so only he could hear me. "You have at least ten minutes in-between class, right?"

"_Yeah, so?"_

I sighed. "Your motorcycle's fixed, so can you come pick him up?"

"_I can't do that!"_

"Ah come on!" I complained. "What have I ever done to you for you to hate me so?"

"_Well, let me just get out my notebook. Lets see, you poured sand in my bed when we were at the beach cabin last summer, you bleached my hair while I was asleep, you told Thorn that I was an imposter dressed up like his rider so that he would attack me, you set my pants on fire—."_

"It's not my fault Thorn sneezes fire!" I yelled into the phone. "So will you do it?"

It was a few moments before he replied after a sigh. _"Fine, fine, I'll do it. But you'll have to wait until after 6__th__ period, okay?"_

"Thank you so much Tag!" I said gratefully.

"_Yeah, yeah, whatever. Why must I be so gullible?_

I smirked. "Because you love me."

"_Go to hell."_

"I love you too." I said before hanging up. I grabbed Eragon and dragged him out of the bathroom without any of the girls noticing and I pulled him to my next class. "Okay, listen Eragon. You have to be good, okay?"

He nodded.

"Good, now come on." I said and led him into my History class.

"Shannon, who is this?" my teacher asked.

I fidgeted in my spot. "He's . . . Er . . . my . . . pin pal . . . uh . . ." I spotted a 'Tom Sawyer' book in the lost in found. "Tom . . ." I spotted a stone outside the window on the ground. "Stone, Tom Stone. He's here to see what it's like in an American school."

"Where's he from?" my teacher asked.

"Er . . . Europe." I said quickly. "Come on Erag—I mean _Tom_." I said, grabbing his hand and leading him over to the empty desk beside mine.

"Oi, Rae." Kelly said, turning around in her desk to face us. "Who is this?"

Eragon busted out laughing. "They call you 'Rae'? Oh god! I can't wait to tell Murtagh!"

Kelly seemed confused. "Who's Murtagh?"

"My big brother, who happens to be her boyfriend." Eragon giggled

I hit Eragon in the back of the head. "He's not my boyfriend! We're just friends you idiot!"

"You kissed him!" Eragon corrected me, rubbing the back of his head where I had hit him.

"WHAT?!" Kelly exclaimed.

"WE WERE PLAYING SPIN THE BOTTLE! WE DIDN'T EVEN KISS!" I roared.

Opal turned around to face us. "So Shannon, how old is the Murtagh character?" God! She is such a Mary-sue!

"Ah go hell Opal!" I spat. "Why don't you go snogg Brandon or something?" She glared at me before turning away from us.

"So? How old is he?" Kelly asked eagerly.

I mumbled something under my breath.

"What was that?" Kelly asked.

"Eighteen." I muttered.

"HOLY CRAP!" Whitney exclaimed, turning around to join the conversation. "What's he like?"

Eragon piped. "She has a picture of him on her cell phone!"

"Do not!" I protested, crossing my arms over my chest. "HEY!" I exclaimed when Eragon snatched my cell phone out of my backpack.

"See?" Eragon grinned, showing Kelly and Whitney the desktop picture of Murtagh when they were at the beach cabin last year. "Told ya!"

Kelly's eyes widened. "Wow Rae! He _is_ hot!"

Whitney took a closer look of the picture. "He looks emo to me. Is he gothic?" (No offence to any emo or Goths!)

I fumed. "HE IS NOT EMO OR GOTH" I smacked Whitney upside the head. "Okay, maybe he is a little Goth, but that's no the point!"

Kelly smirked. "Yep, first sign of love! She's standing up for him!" She sighed dreamily.

"No offense Kelly, but you read _way_ too many romance novels." Whitney stated.

**Lunch:**

"Okay, after English you'll be out of here!" I sighed with relief. Eragon and I were sitting at our usual lunch table with Victoria, Elizabeth, Goldpool, and Kendal. Elizabeth and Goldpool were both sitting on both sides of Eragon and staring at him dreamily. "Oi! When did the preps start sit-in at our table?" I snarled in disgust.

Kendal rolled her eyes. "Ever since the football team took their table they've been sitting here. Honestly Rae! You must be more observant!"

"Yes mother." I muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up." Kendal growled, sipping her Pepsi. Alana walked over and slammed her tray down on the table and sat next me.

"Damn! I cannot wait until these freakin final exams are over with!" Alana growled.

Goldpool rolled her eyes. "Must you always get this way at this time of year? Why don't you just chill out?"

"Chill out? CHILL OUT?!" Alana roared, her eye twitching. "HOW CAN I CHILL OUT WHEN MY SCORES ARE AT STAKE AT THIS VERY MOMENT!?"

There was a long silence while Alana took three long breaths to calm herself.

"Feel better?" Elizabeth asked.

Alana nodded. "Yeah, I actually do."

"Hey Elizabeth, did you and John break up or something?" I asked, wanting to get away from the subject of school.

Elizabeth cocked her head to one side. "No, why?" she asked while she and Goldpool hugged Eragon's waist while Eragon looked petrified from fear.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh no reason, except that your CHEATING ON HIM FOR THIS IDIOT HERE!"

"I'm not cheating on John!" Elizabeth snapped. "And Erry is NOT AN IDIOT!"

"FOR GOD SAKES LIZ HE MURTAGH'S STILL TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN HIM!" I yelled.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And your point is?"

I slammed my head down on the table. "I have GOT to get me some new friends."

**After 6****th**** period:**

Murtagh was waiting in the parking lot by his motorcycle. He checked the clock on his razor phone impatiently.

"Damn it Shannon, where the hell are you?" He growled, snapping his phone shut.

There was a loud explosion from the middle school and Murtagh saw Shannon and Murtagh running towards him with THE WHOLE FREAKIN SCHOOL chasing them.

"Start the bike Murtagh!" Shannon yelled as they ran. "Start the bike!"

Murtagh jumped onto his motorcycle and fumbled with his keys until he started clicking the key over and over again for it to start.

"Come on, come on damn it!" Murtagh hissed. "Yes!" he exclaimed when the engine started. He drove towards them and pulled them onto the bike before veering away from the furious people and driving away. "What the freakin hell happened?"

"The idiot here blew up the school with a cafeteria oven!" Shannon growled from in between the brothers. "I'm going to put him in closet, lock it, and throw away the key when we get home!"

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**Sorry it took me forever to update! I was busy with my other stories! Please R&R!**


	12. Ending

"Um . . . Murtagh?" a very nervous me muttered, which was very rare.

The eldest son of Morzan was sitting on the living couch watching a music video of 'My Chemical Romance'. **(BEST FUCKIN BAND ****EVER**

"What?"

I stuck my hands into the pockets of my baggy pants and shifted from foot to foot uneasily, something I did when I was nervous, which like I said, was VERY rare.

"You know how Thorn's been missing for a couple months now?" I began.

Murtagh nodded.

"Remember that casino in Las Vegas I went to a few months ago?" I continued.

"Yeah, why?" he asked, looking wary.

"Well . . . we sorta ran out of money to bet on so we sorta bet on something . . ." I added.

Murtagh's HOT eyes turned dark and cold. "What exactly did you use for the bet?"

"Ha. . . funny story actually." I laughed anxiously. "We kinda . . . sorta . . . used . . . Thorn . . . and I kinda lost the bet . . ."

"_**WHAT!?"**_ Murtagh yelled, rattling the house.

"I'm sorry! I just had to have that jet! You don't see a dragon everyday so a dragon's worth more then a jet!" I whined.

"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DRIVE A FUCKIN JET WITHOUT A FUCKIN LICENSE!?" Murtagh screeched.

I grinned sheepishly, revealing the sky-blue braces on my teeth. "Yeah . . . another funny story about that . . . I sorta used your motorcycle to get a pilot for the jet . . . but . . . I kinda lost that bet too . . ."

"_**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"**_ Murtagh yelled, flailing his arms in the air for emphasis. _**"WHY DIDN'T YOU USE ERAGON FOR THE BET?!"**_

"Who the hell's gonna want a pansy ass, fucked up, little dipshit like Eragon?!" I spat with my hands on my hips.

Murtagh dropped his head into his hands. "What was the bet?"

"Whoever could get three aces in a row." I muttered.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Murtagh screamed.

"JET, MURTAGH! WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T WANT A JET?!" I yelled back.

Something breaking brought us back to reality. We turned around slowly to see Eragon standing at the doorway with a shattered vase at his feet. His eyes got wide with fear when my eye started to twitch.

Brom—who had been reading a cook book on the couch—jumped to the feet. "HOLY CRAP! RUN FOR YOUR SHITY LIFE ERAGON!"

Eragon screamed and ran out of the room with me running after him with an axe in my hand. "HELP ME! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!" Everyone except Heather cheered happily at the thought of a dead Eragon. "YOU PEOPLE ARE SO MEAN!" he burst into tears and ran to his room like the little pansy school girl he was.

"Good go-in Shannon! You mad the poor boy cry!" Heather snapped.

"You want this thing lodged up in your face again?" I snarled, holing the axe up menacingly.

Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I just wanted to say that some random guy keeps leaving these love notes in my room. Have any clue who keeps writing them?"

I looked over at Murtagh, who shook his head.

"Not me, I got over her ages ago." He said.

Galbatorix—who was watching golf on TV—stiffened and walked away while whistling an 'innocent' tune.

"GROSS!" I screamed. "MY SISTER'S BEING STALKED BY AN OLD GUY!"

Brom cringed in disgust and Murtagh ran out of the room to hurl. "That is just so wrong!" the 'chief' muttered, looking slightly green. "Uh, somebody's gonna have to clean that vomit!" he darted out of the room to leave the creepy moment.

"Wait for me!" I cried and shot after him. "I might just hurl myself." I shuttered at the though of Galbatorix stalking me like my big sister.

The doorbell rang, so I walked to the front door to open it to see a teenage boy. "Who the hell are you?"

"Yeah, somebody ordered forty peanut butter, clam, onion, olive, anchovies, and pineapple, hold the cheese pizzas?" the guy asked, holding stacks of pizzas in his arms.

"The hell? I didn't order any pizza!" I snapped.

"Those are mine!" Durza appeared out of nowhere and took the pizzas. "Take care of the check, will you Shannon?" he darted away while cackling evilly.

"DON'T CALL ME SHANNON!" I yelled after him before looking at the price. "$356?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?"

The guy shrugged. "Look lady, I didn't order the pizzas. I'm just do-in my job, so pay up."

Brom came over to the door, looking hurt. "How could you order pizza when I made a beautiful super of roast?" He held up a cooking pot with unknown, possibly deadly glop.

"THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO THE CHATROOM!" I darted to my room, flopped down onto my bed, and grabbed my laptop. My fingers danced through the keys like a breeze, thanks to those countless years of keyboarding classes at school.

_**Hotspot has logged in**_

_Hotspot: Crap, no ones on __(Virtual cursing)_

_**Dark&Mysterious has logged in**_

_**... has logged in**_

_Dark&Mysterious: Wow, temper issues_

_Hotspot: Shut up Tag_

_Dark&Mysterious: How'd you know it was me?_

_Hotspot: Kinda obvious, isn't it?_

_Dark&Mysterious: Yeah, guess you're right_

_Hotspot: I thought Eragon was the brain dead brother!?!?_

_Dark&Mysterious: He is, it's just the thought of Galby be a stalker that makes me insane_

_Hotspot: I'm with you on that_

_**IKILLYOU has logged in**_

_Hotspot: And speak of the devil_

_IKILLYOU: MAAAAAUUUUUHHHHHHHAAAAAHAA__(coughhackcough)__AHAHAAA!!!!_

_Dark&Mysterious: Oh Christ . . . _

_Hotspot: Since when are you religious????_

_Dark&Mysterious: I'm not_

_Hotspot: Oh, good point _**(A/N don't get the wrong picture here, I AM religious!) **

_IKILLYOU: HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!1111_

_Hotspot: Oh god, he has discovered the power of caps lock_

_Dark&Mysterious: Great, now he's ten times more annoying_

_Hotspot: This can't get anymore irritating_

_**Shadyshadeshade has logged in**_

_Hotspot: I was wrong_

_Dark&Mysterious: You were very, very, very, wrong_

_Hotspot: Deeply wrong_

_Shadyshadeshade: Hi, daisies!!!!1111_

_Hotspot: Oh god. Please shoot me Tag_

_Dark&Mysterious: As long as you shoot me at the same time_

_Hotspot: Deal_

_**Hotspot had logged off to find a gun**_

_**Dark&Mysterious has logged off to help her**_

_IKILLYOU: Ah, to be young and in love_

_Shadyshadeshade: Eh? Wat u men?_

_**Old&Wise has logged in**_

_Old&Wise: He means that their perfect for each other_

_Shadyshadeshade: Eh?_

…_: A WEDING! YEAHS!!!111_

_Old&Wise: HOLY SHIT! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM??!!!_

…_: i hav ben listening for a long tim_

_IKILLYOU: You mean you were spying?_

…_: no, i been listening wen you don't know_

_Shadyshadeshade: Eh? _

_Old&Wise: Yes, that was spying_

_IKILLYOU: GET HIM!_

**Back to me:**

I, on the other hand, wasn't having much luck in finding my dad's hunting guns. Murtagh was searching in the closet while I was looking under the bed when we heard a battle cry and a thud. We both shared a glance before darting out of my parents' room and stared at the scene dumbstruck.

Galbatorix and Eragon were wrestling on the ground, not like son vs. dad, but idiot vs. maniac, your choose of who was who. They were rolling down the hallway, pummeling each other while Brom joined us in staring. Durza was wailing that he wanted coffee but I'll be damned if I give that retard caffeine! Arya and Heather had gotten into a slap fight cause Heather had caught Arya staring at her boyfriend. Thorn had strangely appeared outside the window—probably got tired of Las Vegas and Saphira was fighting him for a bone.

Yep, this was my idiotic, deathtrap home. I lived with a brain dead blonde, a craze ex-King, a butt-ugly elf, a wimpy Shade, a preppy, annoying older sister, two dog-like lizards, and a hot ass guy—

Murtagh suddenly turned to me. "Wanna make out?"

My eyes went wide. "Sure."

—make that a hot ass guy that was now my boy friend. But, even though we had our insane days and always got into trouble, they were my family and this was my house, my strange, abnormal family in my—our deadly house.

And if you have a problem with that, I just have one thing to say to you. "Get out of my house!"

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**Well, that was the end of My House. I know this chapter probably sucked and this story was unbearably short but I ran out of ideas and I have millions of other stories to finish. Please don't forget to leave a review on your way out! Laters!**


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